Talk:Carl Zoll

Hi @BeanieFan11, thoughts to come this afternoon. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 17:58, 14 March 2025 (UTC)

Lead/infobox

• He fought against a number of notable wrestlers in his career → perhaps ...a number of prominent wrestlers in his career... instead? I'm always hesitant to use the word "notable" in wiki-voice, though maybe that's just WP:PEACOCK in the back of my mind.
  • Changed.
• and contended for the World Light Heavyweight Championship in 1920, although he was defeated → if you're looking to trim this sentence a bit (or get rid of a comma), you could shorten this by saying and unsuccessfully contended for the World Light Heavyweight Championship in 1920. Not strictly recommending this, just an option if you (or FA reviewers) think that sentence wanders a bit.
  • Changed to your suggestion.
• In addition to wrestling, Zoll also played football. → Not in love with this as a standalone sentence since football is mentioned in the first sentence of the previous paragraph; I think you could get away with combining sentences (maybe In addition to wrestling, Zoll was a member of the Green Bay Packers in their... if you think the link to Green Bay Packers and "in addition to wrestling" constitute enough of a context clue that you've switched to football). Not married to my solution though.
  • I think it is helpful to have the football context – someone with no knowledge of football / the Packers could possibly get confused otherwise.

Early life

• Add full name to first sentence of this paragraph so you get it covered by the citation (SR cite in FN 2 covers his full name).
  • Done.
• who were notably active in local sports - as above
  • Done.
• eventually being "the strongest young guy in town," → eventually becoming "the strongest young guy in town," perhaps?
  • Done.

Professional career § Wrestling

• FA folks might take issue with the big block quote - the quote doesn't look terribly easy to paraphrase but if you could cut it down to a sentence or two I think that would help.
  • I kind of liked that quote ... maybe I'll keep it for now and see if anyone at FA complains.
• Green Bay in 1917, and at the time → remove comma (WP:CINS)
  • Done.
• and noted he could show "a world of speed." → move full stop outside quotes (show "a world of speed".) per MOS:LQ
  • Done.
• He tied in a match in April 1918 → I know "he" refers to Carl, but the last person you mention by name is Martin, which leads to a little ambiguity. Recommend Carl tied in a match....
  • Done.
• woods for a long time." → same LQ issue as above.
  • Done.
• he is a hard as nails." → same LQ issue, plus I think there's a typo in this portion of the quote (I'm guessing as hard as nails was intended)
  • Done.
• been staged [in] Green Bay." → LQ
  • Done.
• Is Elmer Saunders notable enough for a redlink?
  • Probably; added redlink.
• they were forced to quit." → LQ
  • Done.
• anybody on earth, anywhere." → LQ
  • Done.
• Zoll was noted to be "unquestionably... → direct quote needs attribution
  • Done.
• "Italian champion of the world," → LQ
  • Done.
• wrestler on the earth." → LQ
  • Done.
• when in action." → LQ
  • Done.
• a "flashy Hindu" → I would add attribution to this, seems a little iffy to say in Wiki-voice
  • Changed to Three months later, he competed at an annual event held by the United Spanish War Veterans and defeated Beno, described in the Associated Press as a "flashy Hindu".
• he returned in February 1925 and fought Nazzareno Pogi, the Italian heavyweight champion, being defeated → tense switch from past (returned, fought) to present (being)
  • Changed to After being out of training for an extended period of time, he returned in February 1925 and fought Nazzareno Pogi, the Italian heavyweight champion, but was defeated.
• ahead of him in wrestlling." → LQ and typo
  • Done.
• out for a match." → LQ
  • Done.

Professional career § Football

• in the season-finale, by a score of 6–0 → I think you can ditch the comma here
  • Done.
• compared with football." → LQ
  • Done.
• record of 10–1–1 → recommend {{Win-loss record}} here
  • Done.

Later life and death

• No comments

Overall notes

@BeanieFan11: Well done, as always. In my opinion the use of direct quotes is a touch too heavy; I think it would benefit you at FAC to paraphrase a good number of those, but other than that I don't see any major issues. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 21:23, 14 March 2025 (UTC)

• @PCN02WPS: Thanks for the review. I think I addressed everything. Regarding the quotes, are there a few you have in mind that I should paraphrase now, or do you think I should just go ahead and nominate it and see what people at FAC suggest? BeanieFan11 (talk) 01:01, 15 March 2025 (UTC)
  • @PCN02WPS: Sorry to keep bugging you about this, but do you think there's anything else I should do or is it decent enough to nominate now? BeanieFan11 (talk) 16:32, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

  @BeanieFan11 As far as your question from Saturday, I think it's less a matter of specific quotes needing a paraphrase than it is an overall higher frequency of quotes than usual (in my experience, at least). It certainly wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me at FAC, so you could probably go ahead and nominate it - if you want to potentially get ahead of the issue, I'd focus on Professional career § Wrestling ("Later career" in particular). PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 16:34, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

  Thanks. I cut two quotes for now – I think I'll make the nomination later today. BeanieFan11 (talk) 16:42, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

  Sweet, I'll be on the lookout and I'll throw you a support since I don't have any more comments prose-wise. I can also tackle the source review at FAC if you want, just let me know. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 16:46, 17 March 2025 (UTC)