User:DollarStoreBaal44

Hello. I am Ba'al, god of fertility, weather, sailing, and war in the Hebrew Bible, but I mostly use my powers for the war thing. On your planet, I am known as the soul-eater. I also occasionally manipulate the birthrates to mess with people. (you won't believe how many penises I've drawn using birth locations) I have all the xkcd books (look, I gotta read sometimes, okay?) and have needed to get a second copy of multiple because the first ones were destroyed from use. Most of my effort centers around pages that need expanding/small corrections/updating. My political views are very far left, as I want to get in their good graces. Besides, they're more mischief-makers. Belial (god of evil (yes, he's a god, not a term (yes, all gods know each other (yes, I am nesting four parentheses (I know it's bad, but no one can stop me (Would you like some fries with that?)))))) handles the right-wing. He is the one that handles the killing. Everything that will kill is handled by him. I, on the other hand, stick to mischief-making. If it was of severe inconvenience to you, I probably caused it.

Literally every single religion you've created, and will ever create, is both wrong and right. Every god from every religion you will ever believe exists here, including the Abrahamic god (who, I might add, is very displeased with those who believe in him), and the gods your species will worship far into the future. Those of us who do the same things (Loki and I, for example) either agree to work on different areas or swap responsibilities every cycle. Currently, I focus on severe inconveniences, while Loki focuses on more minor ones.

Who I am This user edits at school instead of paying attention. en This user is a native speaker of the English language. es-1 Este usuario puede contribuir con un nivel básico de español. This user is a Minor... ...but isn't a miner. This user is autistic + ADHD. ♂ This contributor to Wikipedia is male.

Where I'm From

It is approximately 08:42 where this user lives. This user was born in the United States. This user lives in the United States. This user Identifies as Canadian.

My Contributions

This user has been on Wikipedia for 10 months and 10 days. 3 This user has created 3 wikipedia pages

Politics

This User is a Marxist This User supports the United States Democratic Party

Other stuff

WEE WOO This user is in your walls. teehee Kill the Physicists This user participates in Geohashing

You people are actually pretty close. This universe is made of cycles. Universes are created on the 0th cycle, starting with what you know as the big bang. Each universe lasts approximately 40 trillion human years or so before going through a 'big bounce', as you call it. (I should start using that, it's a good name). During the bounce, the universe is condensed into an area the size of a black hole before going through another big bang, repeating the process. Each universe goes through between 10,000 and 100,000 cycles before going through a big crunch. However, once your universe has undergone all these cycles, the universe we reside in will go through a big bounce, one of 10,000 to 100,000. We, your gods, have gods. Our gods have gods. You are... not someone else's gods. Not yet. It's slightly confusing at first, but you will understand eventually. For reference, you are about 20 or so Billion years through your 159th cycle.

Okay fine, here's an actual bio of me (get ready to be underwhelmed). I have ASD, ADHD, and GAD. Basically, my mind is a weird stew of three-letter acronyms and leftist political views. Speaking of politics:

My political views, as shown in Ba'al's bio, are very far left. Not quite to the point of socialism, but pretty close. I think Trump is the worst person to ever be elected to a political office, and I'm shocked that people still support him. Is illegal immigration a problem? Yes, but it's caused by the government. Just let people become citizens in less than 5 years. Also, why do they call them 'aliens'? Aliens are life forms on Mars, not people that happen to be from Mexico.
By the way, don't even get me started on the resource-chugging slop that is AI chatbots. Don't get me wrong, AI in general is great! I support machine learning when it's predicting the locations of catastrophic flooding, or where a hurricane's path is expected to go. But chatbots and image/video generators are terrible for the environment and add nothing to the world, and it's terrible that companies are trying to shove this in our faces (thank you to Dell for realizing that we don't actually want this). OH, SPEAKING OF COMPANIES...

Most of them suck ass and just want to make more money. At this point, anything that 'saves money and reduces prices' only does it for the companies, while none of the profit goes to the consumer. Fun fact: over 50% of inflation in 2023 was corporate profits! They don't want your face to keep children safe, they want your face so they can sell it and make money. Artificial Intelligence has killed basically all gaming with the RAM (and now GPU) shortage.

Okay, my bio might have just turned into a manifesto... very cool. Despite what you'll see below, I am actually agnostic! I believe quite strongly that there is no possible way to know if god exists or not.

My mother is white, and my father is the child of the Chamorro people (Hafa adai!). My appearance takes after my grandfather, meaning I am very tan and probably a target of ICE (how fun). I live in Nebraska, meaning I am constantly the target of preaching. I literally had somebody befriend me only to immediately try to convert me to Christianity (wtf?). Also, ableism and occasional racism. I occasionally write SCPs! If I find the time I'll link a google doc with one of them in it. Sadly, I can't post them, as I'm apparently too young, because only those who have graduated high school can write.

Birthdate: 12/48/1812

Age: ~13.8 billion

Religion: Polytheistic (I'm literally surrounded by other gods)

Real Name: ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////...

Sport: Tennis

YT channels: GD Colon, DougDoug, DougDoug: Lost Levels, Huggbees. I'm currently considering sparing these guys.

Reading material: xkcd (I AGREE WITH FAVIFAKE, MOVE THAT PAGE!), House of Leaves.

Posting edit updates/ stuff about life.

• 10/31/25 - When you want to contribute but don't know what to contribute to...
• 11/03/25 - Happy November to all. I found out I helped a person (TheBestHumanInSiberianFolklore) for the first time on this wiki, so yay! That feels good. Alright, life update over, back to editing my draft (Draft:Nebraska Repertory Theatre)
• 1/13/26 - Hey look, it's been a while. I'm doing things. Going around the Teahouse, helping people make their drafts, stuff like that. Things are going... okay, 4/10.
• 1/15/26 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIKIPEDIAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  

When school makes you miss the wikipedia celebration...

• 2/26/26 - I've submitted Draft:Lincoln Northwest High School to AfC. IMO, the sources are good and the article is good enough to get published, even if only as a stub. This would by my second article published, my first being Lenovo LOQ
• 3/04/26 - The draft did not get published. What I have made is a couple essays, one humorous and one
• 3/18/26 - After a lot of experimentation, I think I've found my place: as an anti-vandal. I'll request rollback rights in a couple months when I have more experience. During one patrol, I found a page by somebody who has a very unique way of following their religion: they have made their CSS in such a way that, when objectionable files or pages are displayed, it simply displays none. He's dedicated, and we need more people like him. Keep doing what you're doing, man!