User:Hydrangeans

It's enough to have to defend my existence as someone transgender and simple justice (for the colonized, for people of color, for women, for the climate, etc.) in face-to-face life. Trying to do so on Wikipedia—where there exist those who metaphorically slap each other on the back for inflicting transphobia and misogyny and racism, where 'neutrality' too often means both-sides-ing instead of truth, where appeals to accuracy and scholarship too often fail in the face of the loud and influential falling back on their preconceived notions and prejudices—is more than I can or want to manage. While there are moments and pages where truth and kindness prevail, these are interpersonal and occasional, never systematic. By trying to be 'neutral' on questions of justice, Wikipedia has chosen to accommodate and enable injustice, from petty cruelties like stalking and harassment to subtle disinformation like colonialist apologetics. Contributing more time, energy, and information to this project founded by a man who admired Ayn Rand and upon on her individualistic and anti-scholastic philosophy lately feels less like making a difference and more like self-colonizing.

To those who with whom I've had productive interactions, I'm grateful for what you do, and I'm sorry that I've become so cynical about it. You're free to encourage me to stay or return if you like, though I'm not sure I'm in a very persuadable mood. Admittedly, I've seen enough active editors with "retired" banners to realize that what I feel today could change in the future. Maybe someday I'll read this as a reactivated editor and wince at my melodrama and smoke blowing.

But at least right now, maybe not. Hydrangeans (she/her | talk | edits) 20:15, 17 March 2025 (UTC)