User:Jh12/Draft4

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Lead for Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney
FA review Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Presbyterian_Ladies'_College,_Sydney/archive1 Top 200 Schools in NSW (The Daily Telegraph (Australia)) Celebrating 120th with an Open Day and Fair May 10th, 2008 120th Anniversary Concert June 13, 2008 Local review of Anniversary Concert June 18, 2008 120th Anniversary Ball June 21, 2008 The Matchgirls selected as PLC 2008 musical, because the London matchgirls strike of 1888 occurred in the same year as PLC's founding.

2007 Open Day and Fair Programme

Current lead

The Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney (PLC Sydney), is an independent, Presbyterian, day and boarding school for girls, located in Croydon, an inner-western suburb of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. It is the oldest continuously running Presbyterian Church school in New South Wales.^[1]^[2]

Founded in 1888 by a committee of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church of New South Wales, the school has a non-selective enrolment policy for all years apart from Year 11,^[3] and currently caters for approximately 1,350 girls from Branxton Reception (4 years old) to Year 12 (18 years old), including 65 boarders. Students attend PLC from all regions of the greater metropolitan area, New South Wales country regions, and overseas.^[4]

The college is affiliated with the Association of Heads of Independent Schools of Australia (AHISA),^[5] the Junior School Heads Association of Australia (JSHAA),^[6] the Australian Boarding Schools' Association (ABSA),^[7] and is a founding member of the Association of Heads of Independent Girls' Schools (AHIGS).^[8] PLC is also one of two Round Square schools in Sydney.^[9]

In 2001, The Sun-Herald ranked PLC Sydney fourth in Australia's top ten girls' schools, based on the number of its alumni mentioned in the Who's Who in Australia (a listing of notable Australians).^[10]^[a]

Revised lead

The Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney (PLC Sydney) is an independent, Presbyterian, day and boarding school for girls in Croydon, an inner-western suburb of Sydney, Australia. The school has a non-selective enrolment policy for all years but Year 11,^[3] and caters for approximately 1,350 girls from age four (Branxton Reception) to age eighteen (Year 12), including 65 boarders. Students attend PLC from all regions of the greater metropolitan area, New South Wales, and overseas.^[4]

Established in 1888 by the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church of NSW, PLC is the oldest continuously running Presbyterian Church school in its state.^[1]^[2] The college is a founding member of the Association of Heads of Independent Girls' Schools and is affiliated with the Association of Heads of Independent Schools of Australia, the Junior School Heads Association of Australia, and the Australian Boarding Schools' Association.^[8]^[5]^[6]^[7] PLC is one of two Sydney schools in the Round Square organization.^[9]

In 2001, The Sun-Herald ranked PLC Sydney fourth in Australia's top ten girls' schools, based on the number of alumni mentioned in the Who's Who in Australia (a listing of notable Australians).^[10]^[a] Notable alumni include the first qualified female architect in Australia and other pioneering women in education, law, and medicine.

Comments by User:Tony1

Oppose—needs the attention of a good copy-editor. It's not only technical glitches throughout, but odd ways of saying things, that make this unacceptable as a FA. The opening is pretty bad. Here are random examples.
Opening sentence is a bumpy read, with EIGHT commas in about 25 words, hello. "The Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney (P.L.C. Sydney), is an independent, Presbyterian, boarding school for girls, located in Croydon, an inner-western suburb of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia." Do we really need "New South Wales" after "Sydney"? Do they really use the dots in "PLC"? Why not make it easier for foreigners by writing "the state of New South Wales" where this occurs at the end of the first para? And can you reduce the number of occurrences of NSW? It's tedious. Y
"Founded in 1888 by a committee of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church"—If you're going to mention a committee, tell us which one. And since the decision would almost certainly have had to be endorsed by the GA, why not leave out mention of this anon committe altogether? (Who cares?) Y
"Currently"—necessary along with present tense? Y
"caters for approximately 1,350 girls from Branxton Reception (4 years old)"—the 4 years old is clunky; you have to read on to make sense of it in reverse. Y
"Round Square"—this is jargon that the poor reader will have to link-visit to make sense of. The third para, in any case, is pretty boring: isn't there anything more important to an overview than this bureaucratic stuff? Y
The Sun-Herald's ranking seven years ago is digging up the bottom of the barrel. Embarrassing. The SH is w/end entertainment, and hardly authoritative.
"the idea of a Presbyterian College in Sydney arose in 1883"—This is awkward ("arose").
"a 14-roomed gentleman's residence"—New verb, to room? Tony (talk) 05:03, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

[1]
McFarlane, John (1988). "Foreword". The Golden Hope: Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney 1888-1988. pp. p. vii. {{cite book}}: |pages= has extra text (help)
[2]
Hills, Brenden (2008-01-29). "It's a matter of principal". News. Inner Western Courier. p. 8. Retrieved 2008-01-29. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
[3]
"Regulations & Applications" (PDF). Enrolment Enquiry. Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney. 2007. pp. p. 5. Retrieved 2007-10-14. {{cite web}}: |pages= has extra text (help)
[4]
"About PLC Sydney". PLC Sydney. Presbyterian Ladies' College. Retrieved 2007-08-14.
[5]
"AHISA Schools". New South Wales. Association of Heads of Independent Schools of Australia. 2007. Retrieved 2007-06-19. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |month= ignored (help)
[6]
"JSHAA New South Wales Directory of Members". New South Wales Branch. Junior School Heads' Association of Australia. 2007. Retrieved 2007-07-27.
[7]
"Presbyterian Ladies' College, Sydney". Schools. Australian Boarding Schools' Association. 2007. Retrieved 2007-08-14.
[8]
"Heads of New South Wales Independent Girls' Schools". AHIGS. The Association of Heads of Independent Girls' Schools. 2007. Retrieved 2007-08-06.
[9]
"Round Square Application". International. Presbyterian Ladies' College. 2007. Retrieved 2007-04-23.
[10]
Walker, Frank (2001-07-22). "The ties that bind". Sunday Life. The Sun-Herald. p. 16. Retrieved 2007-09-12. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)

Related Articles