User talk:Nicorit4
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~Oshwah~(talk) (contribs) 20:25, 7 September 2025 (UTC)
Welcome!
Hello, Nicorit4, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Brianda and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Brianda (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:11, 23 September 2025 (UTC)
Hello
Hi!
Edits to Alice Coltrane
Hi Nicorit4,
Feedback on your draft
Regarding your Solo work edit, I agree that the current sentences isn't good. In addition to the readability problems, the current sentence is written in more of a story-telling style, which probably isn't appropriate for an encyclopedia. However, your draft removes some pieces of information that I believe should be kept. It doesn't mention her surprise at receiving the harp, so it reads as though she were expecting it. It also doesn't mention the size of the harp, which I think is relevant. The original sentence doesn't have any citations, so you should add those if you can. If you can't find any sources for that information though, it may be best to remove it. Also, your drafted sentence is ambiguous. It could mean that Alice received the harp before her husbands death, or that he ordered it before his death. You might consider restructuring it to avoid ambiguity.
For your Ashram years addition, reread the first paragraph in that section of the original article. I'm not sure you actually added any new information. Perhaps you could add some citations to that paragraph, though.
Suggestions
Reading through the article, it appears that there is a lot of information that lacks citations. I think going through and adding citations or removing pieces of information that aren't reliable would be a valuable thing to do.
Someone else on the talk page noticed that her harp teacher Velma Froude was not mentioned in the article. That still appears to be the case, so you could add a few sentences about her. (Note that on the talk page, this person says "it's the same person as Dorothy Ashby." They meant "it's the same person whom Dorothy Ashby was taught by," so don't be confused.)
I also think it's worth taking a look at the sentence someone else mentioned on the talk page, "Despite her various spiritual affiliations, Coltrane primarily sought spiritual guidance not from external gurus but instead from God himself, with whom mystics like her are able to communicate as a result of the spiritual merit acquired through her tapas," which is not neutral.
Final thoughts
I think you have a good starting point and you noticed some important things. It seems to me that the most important thing at this point is to add missing citations, since there are a lot of things stated as fact without a citation.
You did a good job realizing that the sentence about the harp needed improvement. I should look through my own article and see if there are any things that could have improved readability.
I hope my suggestions help!
By the way, in case you're having trouble finding my draft, I put it under User:AsDaGo/sandbox/Krishnacore. I copied the whole article in since it's small, and then made my edits. Check the history of that page for my edits. I also made an edit to the original page. To see all my changes in one place, click here. If it's not already selected, you can click "Visual" in the upper right of that page to get a nicer, inline view of my edits. AsDaGo (talk) 06:27, 10 November 2025 (UTC)
Alice Coltrane Article Feedback
Hi!
I agree with AsDaGo on a lot of the things mentioned (especially with the lack of citations).
One thing I’m seeing a lot of (which just seems to be a common thread in article about women) is that there’s a lot of focus on her relationships rather than her work. I’m not too familiar with Alice Coltrane, but how was her work received? Did she win and awards, gain recognition, etc.? I also feel like there’s a bit of a missed opportunity to talk more about her inspirations and who she inspired. I know there’s a section at the bottom, but I feel like it can be expanded upon and connected to more modern-day influences. Later on, there’s also a sentence stating "After the death of her husband, Coltrane experienced a period of trial.” which, without context is a bit odd.
I’m also not too sure what your plan is based on what I read on the talk page. I think it might be worth re-reading the article and making a list of things that are missing, underdeveloped, or incorrect and then work on changing them. This is just a suggestion though, so feel free to do what makes sense to you— I really like what you’ve done so far! ~2025-32492-00 (talk) 17:02, 10 November 2025 (UTC)