Talk:Eberhard Aurich

Early life

Eberhard Aurich was active as a child in the Ernst Thälmann Pioneer Organization and became a member of the FDJ in 1960.[1] - The section should start with this DOB/POB. I see it in the infobox but not here. Please be sure to add it here (with a reliable source) to kick this paragraph off.  Done

After attending the EOS Karl Marx in Karl-Marx-Stadt and completing vocational training with a high school diploma as a concrete specialist - Spell out EOS for those unfamiliar with the subject, and no need to italize Karl Marx. Was the name of the school "Extended Secondary School, Karl Marx"?  Done

After attending the EOS Karl Marx in Karl-Marx-Stadt and completing vocational training with a high school diploma as a concrete specialist,[2] he studied from 1965 to 1969 at the Pedagogical University of Zwickau, graduating as a certified teacher for German and Staatsbürgerkunde,[1][2][3] civics designed to indoctrinate children to support the GDR's political system and the SED.[2][4] - This is a very long sentence, consider pausing it somewhere to improve the flow.  Done

Staatsbürgerkunde - What is this? I advise you add the translated word too.  Done

GDR's political system and the SED - As first mentions in the body paragraphs, spell them out completely.  Done

Free German Youth career

In 1967, at the age of 21, he became a member of the ruling Socialist Unity Party (SED).[1] - Now that we spelled it out earlier, you can keep "SED" only.  Done

at the Bezirk leadership - Link Bezirk assuming it's that.  Done

in Karl-Marx-Stadt, becoming a Secretary in 1971 - Remove link for Karl-Marx-Stadt since it is linked earlier already in the body paragraphs.  Done

Aurich returned to the Bezirk Karl-Marx-Stadt FDJ in 1977 - New link for Bezirk Karl-Marx-Stadt, but I'm also confused because it says he "returned" although this is the first mention of "Bezirk Karl-Marx-Stadt" in the article. Was "Karl-Marx-Stadt" inside "Bezirk Karl-Marx-Stadt"? In addition, does this mean he returned to the FDJ branch in Bezirk Karl-Marx-Stadt? Is so please rephrase once the "return" issue is resolved.  Done

joined the Bezirk Schwerin SED as Second Secretary - Assuming my suggestions are right, I think it should be: "joined the SED's branch in Bezirk Schwerin as Second Secretary"  Done

Aurich was elected as a full member of the Central Committee of the SED in April 1981 (X. Party Congress), serving until its collective resignation in December 1989.[1][2][3][7] - Rephrase to "SED's Central Committee". In addition, the X. Party Congress links to The 8th Congress but there's no mention of X. Party Congress there or what it means. The inclusion of this here is odd since it isn't clear what it is or why it's linked as such, consider removing or rephrasing. In addition, consider reducing the sources via merging per WP:CITEKILL.  Done

He additionally became member of the Volkskammer in 1981,[1] nominally representing a constituency in northeastern Bezirk Halle.[8] - Italics for Volkskammer  Done

Leadership roles

During his leadership, the FDJ became more open. - Open in what sense? Readers unfamiliar with the political context may understand this so please clarify. The rest of the sentences give examples but this would be a good chance to make a nice opener.  Done

During his tenure, Aurich met future German Chancellor Olaf Scholz, then deputy chair of the Jusos, twice; in January 1984 alongside Egon Krenz and Herbert Häber and at a disarmament rally of the FDJ in Wittenberg in September 1987.[12][13][14] - This is good factual-wise but lacks substance. It's great that they met, but what did they discuss, what did they accomplish?  Done

Peaceful Revolution

During the Peaceful Revolution, on 24 November 1989,[1][5][15][16][excessive citations] - Added a WP:CITEKILL tag; we don't need 4 references to cite just one paragraph. Consider merging/condensing while still keeping proper attribution. In addition, given this is the first sentence of this new section, a very short description of what the Peaceful Revolution is would be helpful for readers. Obviously without going off topic, but just stating it as is doesn't help readers who may want to know the context even if its short/concise.  Done

and replaced by Bezirk Dresden FDJ First Secretary Frank Türkowsky, - Fix wording of this per above examples.  Done

The FDJ, the SED having lost power, lost almost all of its members and soon faded into obscurity - Copyedit this. Unsure if what you're trying to tell us is something along the lines of: "The FDJ, with the SED having lost political power, lost ...". Also the word "faded into obscurity" is an idiom and not encyclopedic.  Done

Aurich resigned from the Volkskammer and the moribund State Council in late January 1990 - Unlink both Volkskammer and State Council which are linked earlier in the article. Also italicize Volkskammer  Done

Later life

In 1991, Aurich left the SED's successor party, the PDS.[1][2][3] - I would advise you give a quick background/context on how the SED was renamed (?) the PDS, and then introduce this. It feels abrupt that Aurish left a party that we as readers have not heard about yet.  Done

with the Berliner Morgenpost as being gleichgeschaltet and Stalinist. - In order to prevent readers from having to click the gleichgeschaltet article, a short description of what it is what be helpful, too.  Done

Aurich lives in Berlin[1] - Since when? Looks like the source is from 2009 so I would advise you add: "As of 2009, Aurich lives in Berlin", unless you are able to find a more recent source.  Done

Infobox

1 December 1983 – 24 November 1989 - The infobox has the full start date "1 December 1983" but the body paragraphs do not. Please add it to the body paragraphs too so both are accurate, ensuring the source backs it up. This is a requirement per WP:INFOBOXCITE where everything in the infobox has to be mentioned and cited elsewhere in the article.  Done it's in source 6 which I've added.

Second Secretary: Volker Voigt, Gabriele Klembalski - Same issue here, they are listed here but not in the body paragraphs with a source.  Done Voigt is in source 6 which I've added, I've removed Klembalski.

Member of the Volkskammer for Bitterfeld, Gräfenhainichen, Wittenberg - Same issue here and for the folks mentioned under it, Lysann Jacob and Gerard Gotting.  Done removed Lysann Jacob (uncited information from the German Volkskammer member list, but kept Götting, which is in sources 9-10.

10 December 1946 - Same here

POB: Chemnitz, State of Saxony, Soviet occupation zone, Allied-occupied Germany (now Germany) - Same here. Also the location seems incredibly long, unsure how to condense it but I had never seen this long of a POB. I'll leave it up to your discretion to keep it concise.  Done I'd rather keep it; it's long but unfortunately unavoidable, it's also in the article on Heinz Vietze.

Party of Democratic Socialism (1989–1991) - No mention of this party at all anywhere in the article. I would advise you add more of Aurish's career/responsibilities here.  Done Aurich didn't hold any more political offices after that.

Alma mater: Pädagogische Hochschule Zwickau - Same here  Done mentioned in "early life", linked to the Chemnitz University of Technology, as the PH Zwickau merged into it.

Occupation: Politician, Concrete Worker - I understand he has studies in it, but the article gave no indication that he worked doing this. Unless of course he did and that has to be updated in the article.  Done removed Concrete Worker, as he indeed didn't work in that profession after finishing his apprenticeship

Sources

30 Jahre Mauerfall - "Zusammenbruch – Erinnerungen und Einsichten" - Ehemaliger FDJ-Vorsitzender Eberhard Aurich kommt nach Neustadt". neustadt-hessen.de (in German). Neustadt, Hesse. Retrieved 23 March 2024. - Unfortunately the ref appears to be dead/unavailable and so are the archived versions. Could you please see if you can find another one?  Done found a live archive link