Talk:In a World.../GA1

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GA Review

Passed. Spinixster (trout me!) 06:37, 2 April 2024 (UTC)

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs)

Reviewer: Spinixster (talk · contribs) 07:37, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

Hello, I'll be reviewing this. At first glance, there are some issues with the article that should be fixed:

  • There is 1 CN tag in the article as well as some unsourced parts.
  • I'd suggest rearranging the sections per MOS:FILM; right now, the placements are confusing.
    I think the Music section should be under the Production section; many other film articles follow this trend. Also, the Filming section may suffer from oversectioning because the sections are quite short. Spinixster (chat!) 12:58, 23 March 2024 (UTC)
  • There are some (MOS:EDITORIAL, I think) issues with the prose, such as She deliberately filmed using shots in the style of a drama, although the film is a comedy. The "nose kiss" scene was suggested by Ken Marino, and it made Bell laugh so much she told him he would need to do it twice.
    • I think I have fixed the specific example, but when I search for "ly" in the text, I am confused on how this rule applies.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 12:59, 23 March 2024 (UTC)
    I did not remember the exact guideline, but the part I mentioned is much better now. I'll do an in-depth review later. Spinixster (chat!) 13:53, 23 March 2024 (UTC)
  • Per MOS:LEAD, the lead is too short.

I'll put this review on hold for now before I do a full review. Feel free to ask any questions if needed. Spinixster (chat!) 07:37, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

Full review

Thanks for the needed improvements, I will now review the article further. This may take a while.

  • Lead and infobox:
  • Plot
    • Currently, the plot section sits at ~670 words, so there are no worries about the plot section being too long and violating MOS:PLOT. However, there are many one-sentence paragraphs, which is not encouraged, so I'd merge parts with similar ideas and summarize wherever possible.
  • Production
  • Release
    • This section does not say when it was released at Sundance and North American theaters/international theaters.
  • Box office
    • Perhaps this section can be moved to be inside the Reception section? I see that this is the trend with most articles, and it makes sense.
Per WP:FILMCAST, any uncredited roles should be sourced to reliable sources. Spinixster (trout me!) 05:58, 25 March 2024 (UTC)
removed.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:15, 25 March 2024 (UTC)
  • Copyvio: Aside from the sources clearly copy-pasted from Wikipedia, there's only a 24.2% similarity for an attributed quote and common phrases.

Thanks for the changes. There's just a few more things that I think are needed before I pass this article:

  • I found a few sources that might be useful to expand the Production section, e.g. writing process, inspirations, etc. There's also a few extra reviews for the Reception section.
  • I think the lead may not cover enough of the article, and MOS:LEAD is a required criteria to pass. The lead can still be 2 paragraphs, but may include more information on production, inspiration, etc.
  • Has anyone else done the observation that Melissa Disney was the only female voice-over talent to voice a film trailer?
    The first source seems to be a copy of her bio, which is primary. The original source Movie trailers lack female narrators is much better, though it doesn't mention that she's the only female voice-over talent to voice a film trailer. The second is a biography, which is primary. The third source doesn't seem to mention that she's the only female voice-over talent to voice a film trailer at all. Spinixster (trout me!) 02:42, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
    Is there a directive in your response?-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:47, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
    Sort of, though I don't think that it'd be useful to use this source in this case if it doesn't say what Lake Bell said. I just asked for more proof instead of relying on Bell. Spinixster (trout me!) 09:14, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
    I'll do some more digging and get back to you.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 12:31, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
    The source at the time could have been This 2012 article.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 12:41, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
    I think that's usable, though the claim would have to be altered to Disney being one of the few female voice actors who had voiced a movie trailer. Spinixster (trout me!) 13:24, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
    I have incorporated this.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:05, 2 April 2024 (UTC)
    Thanks. Since I have no more problems with the article, I will be passing this. Spinixster (trout me!) 06:37, 2 April 2024 (UTC)
    After that it is Bell stuff like this. Then the story seems to die.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 12:47, 1 April 2024 (UTC)
  • One-sentence paragraphs are not encouraged, so they should be merged with another if possible.
  • From the first list, two articles require subscriptions, so I did not incorporate them. I am going to look at the second list. However, for the current article size, I feel the current critical response size is correct. Also, I see metacritic has 30 reviews and rotten tomatoes has 130. How did you select these for inclusion?-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 17:53, 31 March 2024 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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