Emily Gilmore

Emily is the wealthy matriarch of the Gilmore family and lives with her husband Richard (Edward Herrmann), a successful insurance consultant, in a mansion in Hartford, Connecticut.^[1] She is a member of a bridge club, country club, the Society Matron's League, and serves as the president of local chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution. She goes through a succession of various cooks and maids in her home, as she often fires household staff due to her high standards. It is revealed that Emily attended Smith College, where she majored in History and was a member of the field hockey team. She met Richard at a party while she was at Smith and he was at Yale University.

Emily's only daughter Lorelai (Lauren Graham) had run away from home as a teenager to raise her daughter Rory (Alexis Bledel) on her own,^[2] forcing Emily to remain estranged from both her daughter and granddaughter for several years until Lorelai desperately asks her parents to help pay for Rory's admission into Chilton Preparatory School.^[1] Emily agrees to lend Lorelai the money required on the condition that both she and Rory visit her and Richard at their home for dinner every Friday evening.^[3] Having had a strained relationship with Lorelai ever since she decided she would be raising Rory without her parents or then-boyfriend Christopher Hayden (David Sutcliffe),^[3] Emily wants to spend as much time with Rory as possible,^[4] partially to ensure that her granddaughter receives the opportunities her mother never did.^[2] She uses Chilton as an opportunity to forge somewhat of a "normal" relationship between herself, Lorelai and Rory.^[5] Their arrangement continues when Rory graduates from Chilton and enrolls at Yale University, her grandfather's alma mater. Emily and Richard separate at one point during the series over a series of heated disagreements, but eventually reconcile in favor of renewing their vows.^[6][7]

Emily struggles to adjust to her husband's recent death, to whom she had been married for 50 years.^[8] She is furious with Lorelai after she gives an unflattering speech during Richard's funeral,^[9] thus increasing the rift in their relationship. Emily tricks Lorelai into attending therapy with her in attempt to mend their relationship (where Emily reveals she is also upset over a malicious letter she insists Lorelai sent her several years ago, although she denies it),^[10] with mostly unfruitful results.^[11][12] Emily is only able to forgive Lorelai after she calls her mother to share with her the time Richard comforted her by taking her to a see a movie after she was humiliated in school.^[11] At the end of the revival, Emily sells their mansion because it constantly reminds her of Richard's death,^[13] moving to Nantucket, Massachusetts. She also quits the Daughters of the American Revolution,^[14] and starts working at a whaling museum as a docent.^[11] The identity of who sent Emily the letter remains undisclosed.^[15]

Creator Amy Sherman-Palladino originally pitched Gilmore Girls to The WB as a series about Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, a young mother and daughter duo whose close relationship is more similar to that of a pair of best friends as opposed to family members,^[16] but the show's concept was not fully realized until Sherman-Palladino introduced the idea of a third, older generation of Gilmores to the storyline: Emily and Richard Gilmore, Lorelai's wealthy, conservative parents.^[17] The creator explained that "Lorelai is made because of her experience with her family, and Emily is Emily because Lorelai left", believing Emily's relationship with Lorelai "added a layer of conflict that allows you to do the comedy, but at the base of it, it’s almost a tragedy.”^[17] One of the show's central conflicts is drawn from the fact that Emily is a "confused" character in several ways, particularly in regards to her complicated relationship with Lorelai.^[18] Gilmore Girls' original main source conflict revolves around "the generational battle between" the domineering Emily and Lorelai, her free-spirited daughter.^[19] Secretly, the character is proud of her daughter's accomplishments but has continued to harbor resentment towards her ever since she gets pregnant at age 16,^[18] for which Emily has never quite forgiven her.^[15]

The pilot episode begins with some form of dramatic change altering the lives of Emily, Lorelai and Rory.^[20] While Lorelai, for the good of her daughter, must reluctantly allow her parents back into the life she deliberately built for herself without them, Emily's life suddenly changes from barely having a relationship with either her daughter or granddaughter for several years to manipulating their financial situation so that she can be involved in both of their lives for the first time.^[20] Sherman-Palladino strongly felt that Gilmore Girls would be successful after watching the pilot for the first time, in which Emily, Lorelai and Rory experience their first of several Friday-night dinners.^[17] Subsequently, Emily's relationship with Lorelai would be explored in virtually all of the show's episodes,^[15] establishing itself as one of the dramedy's "major plot points".^[7] The New York Post's David K. Li summarized Emily's role in the series as "a cold-water reminder of what some mothers are really like."^[21] The Washington Post contributor Jenny Rogers believes Emily's was written in a way that "was supposed to drive [audiences] crazy", similar to the way in which Lorelai reacts.^[22]

The character spends many early episodes behaving as though not much time has passed since Lorelai ran away.^[23] Although initially created to resemble a "complex" villain,^[22] fans believe that Emily appears to grow "softer" towards the second and third seasons, when in fact the writers only "explained [her] a little better" by evolving the character into a "more complex" version of herself.^[21] As "emotionally guarded" individuals, both mother and daughter channel their feelings towards each other in different ways. While Emily typically avoids the topic of Lorelai's upbringing, Lorelai refuses to acknowledge how abandoned she felt by her mother, "hid[ing] her feelings behind a rapidfire series of jokes."^[24] The character continues to evolve into a more complicated character as the series progresses.^[25] The first season episode "Emily in Wonderland", in which Emily visits Stars Hollow for the first time and wears a pair of sneakers at Rory's behest, offers an early example of the character's willingness to change in order to spend more time with and please Rory.^[7] However, her relationship with Lorelai remains strained well into the fifth season; the creator explained that she retained this dynamic because "In life, you never solve your family issues ... You take a few steps forward and feel like 'We're communicating better!' Then something happens and you're like, 'Why didn't I see that coming?"^[26] Thus, they remain "firmly ... in their estranged battleground."^[26] At one point Sherman-Palladino had deliberated introducing a woman slightly older than Lorelai – a widow who approaches Emily for help on being "more than just beautiful" in the wake of her wealthy husband's death – who becomes something of a surrogate daughter to Emily.^[26] This character and related storyline about Emily "finally ha[ving] a daughter figure who wants to be like her" would have augmented the conflict in Emily's relationship with Lorelai.^[26] Sherman-Palladino identified Emily as one of her favorite characters to write for.^[27]

The tense relationship between Emily, "a wealthy mother of a certain generation and class," and Lorelai is one of the series' primary components.^[28] Although much of Emily's storyline is directly related to her relationship with Lorelai, the character has endured complex situations on her own during the show's run, particularly in regards to the fact that she is "a woman of a certain generation who had long tethered her future to little other than her husband."^[22] The character sometimes struggles to determine "How a woman of her age and position should fill her days", sometimes "play[ing] Emily’s devotion to her husband for ridicule," according to Rogers.^[22] As one of the show's higher class characters, Emily and Paris Geller, Rory's schoolmate and friend, share "similarly ridiculous lines of dialogue."^[29] Much like Lorelai and Rory, Emily speaks "in machine-gun like bursts of dialogue".^[30]

Emily is portrayed by American actress Kelly Bishop.^[31] Before being cast as both a mother and grandmother in Gilmore Girls, Bishop had played mothers in several successful films, namely Dirty Dancing (1987), Private Parts (1997) and Wonder Boys (2000).^[32] Prior to receiving the Gilmore Girls script, Bishop had turned down several sitcom pilots, few of which she found promising; the majority of them were Italian roles due to the popularity of The Sopranos at the time.^[33] Upon reading the Gilmore Girls script for the first time, Bishop immediately found its dialogue "deeply funny" and interesting,^[33] in addition to appreciating the way in which the show depicts different mother-daughter relationships.^[25] She then expressed particular interest in the role of Emily to her agent before preparing to audition, recalling that "I ... really did my homework on that audition because I wanted to deliver what I thought Amy wanted and what I heard in my head."^[33] Casting directors Jill Anthony and Julie Mossberg selected Bishop, whose performance immediately impressed Sherman-Palladino and producer Gavin Polone, from an assortment of actresses who had auditioned for the role during a casting session in New York.^[34]

Throughout her filmography, Bishop tends to play "acerbic" characters more than "nice" ones the latter of which she finds rather "dull."^[21] Bishop enjoys portraying "nasty, rich women" such as Emily because she "can’t stand them", and thus attempts to make the character seem "as awful as possible.”^[35] Although she enjoys playing the role, Bishop admitted that Emily is not the kind of person she would enjoy being friends with in real life because of how difficult she can be, her stubbornness and self-consciousness;^[36][37][38] she based her performance on women she has met in New York, Florida and Hollywood,^[35] in addition to several wealthy women.^[39] However, Bishop described her character as "funny ... if you don’t have to live with her".^[40] Despite not liking Emily as a character, Bishop "understand[s] where she’s coming form (sic)" as a mother.^[21] The actress also identified Emily's honesty among her more positive attributes, saying, "I don't recall ever doing an episode where she was really lying to anyone or sneaking around. She wasn't ever doing anything deceptive, she was just straight-on."^[36] Emily's personality also reminds Bishop of her own grandmother, from whom she drew inspiration.^[41] Bishop also believes Emily was based on former United States First Ladies Nancy Reagan and Jackie Kennedy.^[30][39] Overall, the actress identified her character's unpleasant nature as "the fun [part] of playing her",^[21] and refuses to apologize for her behavior.^[42]

Bishop has always been confident in the material Sherman-Palladino writes for Emily,^[43] explaining, "I’ve never had one moment ... that I’ve looked down [at a script] and gone, ‘No, she wouldn’t say that,'”.^[44] Throughout her entire time working on Gilmore Girls, Bishop refused to probe Sherman-Palladino for information or secrets regarding her character's upcoming storylines, preferring to "open the scripts as if it was a present".^[41] Although Bishop sometimes found Emily's behavior surprising and difficult to defend, she usually agreed with the way in which her character is written,^[41] believing her and Sherman-Palladino "see eye to eye completely on this characterfrie."^[44] Bishop wanted to analyze and learn exactly why Emily is the way she is.^[42] The actress found it helpful to "flesh out" her character by providing her with her own backstory, which was often coincidentally similar to what Sherman-Palladino and the writers had envisioned.^[25] Sherman-Palladino would often write an expository piece for the character that Bishop had thought of herself years before, remarking, "well, we are so on the same page."^[25] Bishop often asked Graham to explain certain pop culture references she had difficulty understanding.^[30] The actress credits her work on Gilmore Girls with teaching her about camera work, explaining, "I’d done all that stuff before. But having it day after day, year after year, being able to work the set and work the camera, it developed my technique and it’s an exercise that you just have to keep repeating".^[45] Bishop considers the fourth season episode "The Reigning Lorelai", in which Emily learns that her late mother-in-law Trix tried to dissuade Richard from marrying her as her favorite episode because of how "bizarrely out there" and unlike Emily it was, claiming that she was "drunk in every scene".^[46] The actress also identified episodes in which Emily goes on outrageous shopping sprees with Lorelai and Rory among some of her other favorites.^[47] Although Bishop usually enjoyed the meals they were served during Friday-night dinners,^[48] she identified the confection marzipan as the worst dish she ever had to eat during a scene.^[49] Bishop practiced taking small bites of her food because she could not envision her character talking with her mouth full as her co-stars tended to do.^[48] Because the actors were prohibited to consume alcohol on set, Emily's wine was often substituted with colored water for Bishop to drink.^[48] She would sometimes be allowed to take home some of her character's floral centerpieces, which she had always found "amazing".^[48] Bishop adds that she has been "madly in love with" on-screen daughter Graham "from practically the first day we said hi",^[43] to the point of which she constantly gave her advice about her love life.^[47] Bishop said Graham "really is like my daughter".^[44]

Mashable contributor Proma Khosla believes "Bishop embodies the Emily we knew during Gilmore Girls’ seven seasons: classily dressed and put-together, with the aura of someone who’s better than you, even if Bishop doesn’t gloat about it like her character."^[44] Bishop appreciates Sherman-Palladino for employing her as an "older" actress.^[44] Although Gilmore Girls was Bishop and Herrmann's first time working together, they had met once before at the 30th Tony Awards in 1976 after both winning awards for featured actress and actor in a musical and play, respectively.^[50] They would not meet again until nearly 25 years later when they posed for a family portrait that would hang in their characters' mansion for the series.^[50] Bishop developed a strong, platonic comradery with Herrmann that mirrored the fictional relationship between their characters.^[34] Bishop bonded with Herrmann over the fact that they were the show's two oldest cast members,^[51] and would often do crossword puzzles in the hair and make up room together.^[41] In addition to sharing the same trailer,^[44] Bishop would accompany Herrmann to the Gilmore Girls set early, before the other cast members.^[31] After the series finale, Bishop maintained her friendship with Herrmann via e-mail.^[44] Herrmann's real life wife Star dubbed Bishop Herrmann's "second wife".^[34] Having maintained a real-life mother-daughter relationship, Graham and Bishop affectionately refer to each other as their TVM (TV mom) and TVD (TV daughter), respectively.^[39]

Richard suffers several medical emergencies during the original series, which usually result in Emily worrying about having to potentially live without her husband.^[52] On one occasion, Emily convinces Richard to promise that he not die before her, saying, "I demand to go first."^[53] Herrmann died in 2014.^[54] Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life revolves around Emily, Lorelai and Rory as the characters encounter new life challenges.^[54] Sherman-Palladino felt that the revival should mirror each main characters' role in the original Gilmore Girls pilot, in which "all three women were at a change in their lives."^[20] Herrmann's death was written into Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life by having his character also die shortly prior to the events of the series.^[12] Despite admitting that doing another Gilmore Girls project without Herrmann would be "really complicated", she expressed confidence Sherman-Palladino's ability to "handle that level of emotions, but still keep it funny".^[48] The creator decided that Emily's change would revolve around the character coming to terms with the fact that she can no longer be with her husband.^[20] His death is discussed most prominently in the first episode "Winter",^[55] during which Emily's fears about living without Richard are realized.^[52] The Washington Post's Jenny Rogers observed that the character "now has a few decades of life left without the person for whom she seemed to live", forced to make decisions about dating.^[22] Feeling purposeless in the aftermath of her husband's death,^[54] Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life follows Emily "as she tries to find a way forward through her grief and confusion" during her first year as a widow.^[56][57] Bishop originally believed that her character would resume Friday-night dinners in the wake of her husband's death "because it's one of those schedule structures that she has in place".^[48] Sherman-Palladino decided to write the eldest Gilmore "in an unexpected direction."^[58] In Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, Emily experiences more dramatic changes than she had experience during her seven-year arc on Gilmore Girls,^[59] embarking " on the biggest journey" of the three main characters.^[58] Leah Thomas of Bustle summarized Emily's storyline as "one of re-discovery and reflection."^[60] With a progression that is of equal importance to that of her daughter and granddaughter,^[11] Emily takes on a more central role than she ever did in the original series, particularly during the "Winter" and "Fall" segments, "tak[ing] the spotlight as a character in her own right" according to Vanity Fair's Laura Bradley.^[11] According to Sherman-Palladino, Emily's storyline as a new widow explores what "the death of a husband mean[s] to a woman who had a life very specific to her all of these years",^[61] encountering widowhood and loneliness for the first time in her life.^[62] Bishop described her character as "a raw nerve" as a result of losing her husband,^[63] alternating between being "right on the edge of losing it" and "a little manic",^[41] as well as having both "dreadful" and "touching" moments during her mourning process.^[11]

Emily struggles to cope with Richard's death. In addition to accidentally commissioning a wall-sized portrait of her late husband,^[64] she attempts such exercises as dividing her belongings into items that "bring her joy" and ones that do no, inspired by Japanese organizing consultant Marie Kondo's self-help book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing,^[54][65] discarding a fancy dress while movers remove her dining room chairs.^[66] Emily also dresses differently than how she does throughout the original seven seasons of Gilmore Girls,^[54] particularly wearing a T-shirt and jeans for the first time.^[44] She even attempts dating another man, only to end their relationship when she finds him disappointing.^[67] The death of her husband ultimately causes Emily to undergo the most change and development out of all the show's main characters, a gradual progression with which Bishop was "delighted", elaborating, "I liked her seeing her really evolve and grow and try to find herself and all of the different stages of grief between the pain and the loss and the rage and the confusion and trying to find what the next step is for her."^[36] Overall, Bishop believes her character channels her grief "pretty well."^[11]

Emily's relationship with Lorelai is also directly affected by Richard's passing,^[44][68] both positively and negatively.^[69] Richard once served as "the middle ground between" Emily and Lorelai, who was often "the most diplomatic of" Lorelai's parents.^[24] After Lorelai speaks poorly of her father at his funeral, Emily tricks Lorelai into finally attending therapy with her in an attempt to mend their relationship. Although the sessions do not appear to be very fruitful, it is the first time they mutually acknowledge that there is a problem in their relationship. Just recognizing that there is a problem is a great first step.^[69] Bishop believes "there’s a little bit more of a womanly connection between the two of them than a mother-daughter thing, but certainly the conflicts and the problems between mother and daughter arise, and very dramatically in one scene."^[44] The characters are marginally closer friends than they ever were on Gilmore Girls by the end of the revival.^[44]

Since Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life was to be released on the streaming service Netflix, the writers debated whether or not the characters should be allowed to swear for the first time, particularly Emily.^[20] Sherman-Palladino ultimately decided that Emily would be the only character who swears in the series,^[36] using profanity against the fellow members of the DAR; she describes organization as "bullshit" three times after growing restless as they interview a potential new member,^[70] before she quits the group.^[11] Uttering "This whole thing died with Richard anyway", Bishop explained that Emily "doesn't see any point in it [anymore]. Obviously, these women were not her friends, they were her social circle ... so she didn't really have any reason to hang around with them anymore and she was seeing through the whole thing. She had, actually, the whole time. She saw the hypocrisy in their behavior. I don't know that she disagreed with it back in her other days – that was just the way it is. Now she's just looking at all of life and calling it out in a way."^[36] Emily ultimately relinquishes control of the organization to Toni, portrayed by actress Carolyn Hennesy, with whom Bishop had enjoyed arguing "back and forth as to who's running the show."^[36]

Although Emily's life keeps changing, Sherman-Palladino felt it important that she end the revival "calm and settled", at least for the time being.^[71] Bishop agreed that Emily finds "serenity" by the end of the series,^[62] resolving that "After sharing her life for half a century, it's finally her own, to do with as she pleases."^[67] She believes that the character sells her mansion because she felt "it was closing in on her", and there was little left for her there beyond her fond memories of Richard.^[36] The actress defends her decision to relocate to her vacation home in Nantucket because "she had fond memories of being relaxed and comfortable" there.^[36] Just like the pilot, the series ends with Emily blackmailing Lorelai, offering to loan her the money to expand the Dragonfly Inn – only this time Lorelai agrees to her terms willingly.^[58]

Having been expressing interest in a Gilmore Girls film for several years, Bishop was "delighted" to learn that a revival was being developed.^[39] Bishop was initially hesitant to commit to Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life because her husband had been unwell at the time, and reprising the role would limit her ability to care for him.^[41] However, her family encouraged Bishop to return, agreeing "it’s something that I just have to do ... I’d be heartbroken if the show went on without me."^[41] The week before filming began, Bishop attended the first few table reads remotely via Skype in order to continue tending to her husband before joining the rest of the cast on location.^[43] Bishop was thoroughly "delighted" with the new material that had been written for Emily, enjoying "seeing her really evolve and grow and try to find herself and all of the different stages of grief".^[36] The way in which Emily initially deals with Richard's passing reminded Bishop of how she first responded to the death of her own mother, incorporating elements of the grief she had experienced into her performance:^[43] "I was manic and aggressive and pushing, pushing, pushing — because, if you stop, you’re going to cry. So you don’t stop. And I see that in Emily."^[41] She also based her performance on widows she had met in real life.^[11] Bishop learned approximately 5,295 lines for Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life.^[44] Although she found resuming the role as easy as "putting on a favorite coat that still fits and feels amazing", she found filming all four episodes at once to be challenging at times because they were rarely shot in order.^[44]

Because of how close Bishop was to Herrmann in real life, Star invited Bishop to bid farewell to the ailing actor when his family decided to take the actor off life support – the only non-family member to have been invited.^[34] Bishop herself found it very difficult to do the revival without Herrmann because "he and I were buds on the show. We, obviously, were older [than the rest of the cast]. But we were also New York actors, and we connected very well ... There was a comfort level."^[72] Using Emily's storyline as a means of channeling her own grief at the loss of her co-star,^[50] Bishop found herself waiting for Herrmann to arrive on set during the first day of filming, and claims that the lights once flickered when she mentioned his name.^[31] She would sometimes speak to the large portrait of Herrmann's character.^[28] Bishop found Herrmann's absence particularly jarring during scenes filmed in the family dining room because "There was [an empty] space where he was supposed to be".^[62] Despite her comradery with her female co-stars, Bishop admitted that she felt lonely on set without Herrmann.^[62] The actress found it difficult to speak to Graham and Bledel because the former was busy writing a book during her spare time, while the latter seldom speaks, "so I was just kind of standing around swinging my arms, not knowing what to do."^[44] The actress' entire performance "is defined by the loss of the dear friend she had in Herrmann",^[44] whose loss she incorporated into her performance.^[73] At the same time, however, Herrmann – and Richard's – deaths allow Emily to develop in ways that might not have been possible otherwise,^[36] finally allowing Bishop to explore her character's true motivations while seeing Emily "grow a bit."^[74] Bishop believes Emily "would have probably been on the same plane that we always were" had Herrmann not died, elaborating, "I sure miss Ed and he would have loved to have done it ... but it made for a really interesting journey for Emily."^[36] Bishop joked that returning to the show in 2016 taught her that "I’m a really good actress".^[44] Bishop enjoyed Sherman-Palladino's decision to have her character swear in the series, explaining "That's the quirk of Amy."^[36]

Bishop maintains that she did not portray her character any differently than she had during Gilmore Girls due to having played her for so many years and knowing her very well.^[75] Despite being a complicated sequence that took particularly long to film, Emily enjoyed filming "the Marie Kondo scene" because "You see the first signs of Emily "going in a direction you couldn't have imagined before."^[76] In terms of clothing, Emily's clothes changes the most during the revival, beginning with her baseball T-shirt as "a slight hint" of her wardrobe progression.^[76] Wardrobe designer, Brenda Maben, enjoyed costuming Emily during the revival, particularly during "Fall", "because of the things that happen with her character.”^[77] Maben explained that the character's change in attire mirrors people who "start to find themselves" after becoming widowed, elaborating that before they can move on from their deaths they "have to look inside yourself and make decisions and quite possibly make some changes and continue on without the person you are terribly in love with. And it could be going back to something you had earlier in your life before you had your spouse that maybe you might have wanted to do but you didn't do because of having children and living that particular life."^[78] Bishop said she "had great fun" wearing jeans as her character for the first time,^[62] which are Steve Madden.^[79] Maben echoed that creating Emily's new wardrobe was fun because it "was something we had never seen before so that was quite fun for me",^[78] despite admitting that she found the jeans "ugly".^[80] Kelly and Maben agreed that Emily should still wear her signature gold necklace and earrings atop her more casual attire,^[81] explaining, "when you’re DAR ... on top of old money, you don't change up your jewelry a lot ... She's still that same person—there are just a lot of changes that are coming along.”^[82] The T-shirt bears a faded Candie's logo.^[81] After finding one proved difficult, Maben sought permission from the company to have the logo specially printed on the shirt.^[79][81] Maben explained that the logo "It needed to be not in your face Candie’s, but it needed to be faded where you had to really look and say, Oh, what does that say?”^[81] Although Bishop appreciated her character's sudden interest in marine life for continuing to show her growth, she disliked her speech vivaciously recounting the deaths of these animals due to being an "animal lover" herself, and the amount of takes the scene required for her to get it right.^[36]