Lady Mary Fitzwilliam (née Butler)
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Lady Mary Wentworth-FitzWilliam (7 March 1846 – 17 January 1929), born Lady Mary Grace Louisa Butler, was a British aristocrat and courtier who was a member of the prominent Fitzwilliam and Butler dynasties. She was the daughter of John Butler, 2nd Marquess of Ormonde and Frances Jane Paget, and the wife of politician Henry Wentworth-FitzWilliam, the second son of William Wentworth-FitzWilliam, 6th Earl FitzWilliam and Lady Frances Harriet Douglas.[1] Prior to her marriage, she served in the household of Queen Victoria's Russian daughter-in-law, Maria, Duchess of Edinburgh. The Duchess' daughter Queen Marie of Romania described Lady Mary as "my mother's dearest friend...until the end of her life,"[2] in her memoirs.[2]
Mary was born at Kilkenny Castle, Ireland, the ancestral home of the Earls and Marquesses of Ormonde. She was the third of six children born to Lord and Lady Ormonde; her father died in 1854, and her mother Frances, Dowager Marchioness of Ormonde took charge of the family estates during the minority of Mary's older brother James Butler, 3rd Marquess of Ormonde. Through her mother she was a grandchild of General The Hon. Sir Edward Paget and a great-grandchild of Henry Paget, 1st Earl of Uxbridge and George Legge, 3rd Earl of Dartmouth.
Mary was a debutante in the 1864 London season; she was presented at Court by her mother on 3 May to The Princess of Wales, who was deputising for Queen Victoria.[3] Lady Mary is mentioned in the Journals of Lucy Lyttleton as being pursued by Viscount Milton, who was purported to be ‘desperately in love with her’, despite the fact that she ‘won’t have him’.[4]
In November 1870 Mary was one of several young aristocratic women who were the subject of widespread coverage due to their selection as the bridesmaids of Queen Victoria's daughter Princess Louise, who married The Marquess of Lorne in March 1871.[5]
Mary's older brother James had taken charge of the family estates following his 21st birthday in 1866, and by 1871[6] her mother had taken up residence at 17 Park Lane, London (later renumbered to 21 Park Lane).[7]
Royal Household
Prior to the marriage of Prince Alfred and Grand Duchess Marie it was announced that Lady Mary Butler would be appointed to the Duchess’ new household in Great Britain as a Lady of the Bedchamber.[8] She was later promoted to the role of Lady in Waiting in February 1876.[9] Following the appointment of The Duke of Edinburgh as commander of the British Mediterranean Fleet in early 1876, Lady Mary continue to be part of the household of the Duke and Duchess following their family's relocation to the San Anton Palace in Malta.[10] She returned from Malta in early 1877, and was given the honour of dining with Queen Victoria and the Royal Family at Osborne House on 28 March of the same year.[11] She resigned from her role as Lady-in-Waiting in April 1877, and was instead appointed as an extra-Lady-in-Waiting.[12] Shortly after this, Lady Mary's engagement was announced on 25 May.[13]
Lady Mary and the Duchess of Edinburgh developed as lasting friendship which endured following Lady Mary's departure from the Duchess' household.[14] Queen Marie of Romania, the Duchess’s eldest daughter, later recalled Lady Mary as “my mother’s dearest friend... an attractive Irishwoman... without being a beauty she was full of charm, very clever, a delightful companion, amusing, gay, well-read, and for ever on the go, although her health was poor.”[14] Marie noted that her mother “often used her as lady-in-waiting, though she never officially occupied that position,”[14] and remarked on her prematurely grey, short-cropped hair, considered strikingly original for the period. She further remembered that Lady Mary and her husband had “three sweet little daughters; Mab, Elsie and Ena, one for each of us sisters, and almost exactly our age,”[14] who joined the Edinburgh family at San Anton Palace in Malta for one winter.[14]