Sacred Couch

It's family TV night and Linda is enjoying the "Sofa Queen" commercial. Bob and Louise take that moment to bring up wanting to get rid of their smelly, lumpy couch but Linda refuses, saying they've had so many family memories on it. After getting outvoted 3 to 2, Louise and Bob commiserate but later that night Louise sabotages the couch so it breaks when Linda, Gene, and Tina sit on it. The family have no choice but to get a replacement from the Sofa Queen Outlet.

Linda is disappointed the Sofa Queen isn't at the outlet store, although her brother-in-law, who plays the "Sofa Jester", is there and ready to make a sale (and prod Gene and Tina into chair-breaking bets so he can charge them). After finding out what Louise did to the family couch (and that Bob unintentionally inspired her to "take a hit out" on their couch), Linda runs off crying and the Sofa Queen ultimately shows up to calm her down and sell them a couch floor model. Once home, and after seeing how pathetic their old couch looks on the sidewalk, Louise regrets her decision and convinces the family to get the old couch back. They are too late when it turns out some teenagers took their old couch.

With information from Teddy, the family goes to a club called The Ear Drum to look for the teenage boys. The bartender there tells them the boys are part of a band who change their name and their corresponding gimmick; they recently re-named themselves "The Couch Burners". The family find them at the train depot and after trying to ask for the couch back, Linda suggests trading their new couch for the old one. Bob protests that they could have sold it but ultimately allows the switch and the family get their broken, stained couch back. They watch Bob try to take an album cover photo of the teenagers in front of their burning, new couch.