Sandra Langeslag

A 2012 study by Langeslag and others determined that while the Passionate Love Scale is a commonly used instrument to measure passionate love, some of the questions actually measure companionate love as well.^[8] She developed a new questionnaire, the Infatuation and Attachment Scales (IAS), to measure slightly different constructs, which she refers to as infatuation and attachment:^[8]

Infatuation is the overwhelming, amorous feeling for one individual that is typically most intense during the early stage of love (i.e., when individuals are not (yet) in a relationship with their beloved or are in a new relationship). Attachment, on the other hand, is the comforting feeling of emotional bonding with another individual that takes some time to develop, often in the context of a romantic relationship.

Langeslag studies love regulation, "the use of behavioral or cognitive strategies to change the intensity of current feelings of romantic love."^[6] Cognitive reappraisal is an emotion regulation strategy where one focuses on positive or negative aspects of e.g. the partner, the relationship or imagined future scenarios:^[6]

• In negative reappraisal, one focuses on negative qualities of the beloved ("he's lazy", "she's always late"), the relationship ("we fight a lot") or imagined future scenarios ("he'll cheat on me").^[6][9] Negative reappraisal decreases feelings of infatuation and attachment, but decreases mood in the short term.^[9] Langeslag has recommended distraction as an antidote to the short-term decrease in mood.^[10]
• In positive reappraisal, one focuses on positive qualities of the beloved ("he's kind", "she's spontaneous"), the relationship ("we have so much fun together") or imagined future scenarios ("we'll live happily ever after").^[6][9] Positive reappraisal increases attachment and can increase relationship satisfaction.^[9]