The Old Man and the Big 'C'

At a Boston Red Sox ballgame, Quagmire accidentally loses his toupée going for a fly ball, and it is put up on the scoreboard and YouTube. When he becomes a laughingstock both at the game and due to a Kia Motors-sponsored story with the slogan, "Too bad it's a Kia," on Quahog 5, he decides to ditch the wig. The change in his appearance affects his attitude. The guys become reluctant to hang out with him and convince him to get a hair transplant.

At the hospital for Quagmire's hair transplant, Brian wanders off and overhears that Carter has terminal cancer. He returns and tells Stewie who confirms it via online camera in the Pewterschmidt house. Brian tells Lois who rounds up the family and heads for her parents' home, but when they arrive they find Carter in good health, Lois becomes angry at a stunned Brian for surprising her like that, with Meg shaming him, and Peter saying "he will get it when he drinks". Brian suspects that Carter is an impostor in order to protect the family business interests and convinces Stewie to come with him to prove his theory.

Brian and Stewie follow Carter around in Pewterschmidt Industries in order to prove he is an impostor. They hear Carter talking to one of his executives about a "Specimen Z" in the sub-levels that might be the description for the "real" Carter Pewterschmidt. While sneaking into a sub-level medical facility to find "Specimen Z," Brian and Stewie discover that "Specimen Z" is actually for a chemical that is the cure for cancer. Carter finds them in the room where it is being held and reveals that he has been sitting on the cure since 1999 in order to protect his sales of treatment pharmaceuticals. Carter then has the security guards throw Brian and Stewie out.

As Brian fumes on their way home, Stewie reveals that he stole the cure. They take it home to show Lois, but Carter arrives with his men to take it back and Brian tells what it is. Lois is appalled, but Carter refuses to show pity until she brings up some of his closest loved ones possibly dying of cancer. After an argument with Lois, Carter promises to reveal the cure.

The next day in a press release, Carter only gives the news of a new type of deodorant for mentally disabled people called "Slow Stick" (a parody of Speed Stick), which is also apparently edible. Lois calls to find out why he did not reveal the secret as Carter reveals that he lied before hanging up on her. The episode ends with Peter assuring to Lois that they will get over the fact that Carter's a bad man when he is shown on the cover of Forbes Magazine with devil-like horns.