Tongan funerals

The influence of Christianity on anga fakatonga (Tongan culture) is seen in the black clothing worn by mourners during the mourning period. The period of mourning, and thus the obligation to wear black, differs depending on how closely related a mourner is to the deceased. For an acquaintance it may be a few days; for a distant relation it may be a few weeks, whilst for close relatives the mourning period may last for up to a year. This obligation remains irrespective of whether a taʻovala (mat tied around the waist) is worn or not. For those in uniform a black armband is allowed instead.

When appearing in public during this period, a taʻovala is much recommended, and during this time it is traditional to wear a mourning taʻovala. When attending the funeral itself, wearing of a mourning taʻovala is obligatory. What kind of taʻovala is worn depends on the relationship to the deceased. Close relatives who are "inferior", in kinship terms, or "brother's" side, wear old, coarse, torn mats, sometimes even old floor mats. These are the relatives who do the hard, dirty work of preparing the ʻumu at the funeral. Relatives on the "sister's side" wear fine mats, often mats which are family heirlooms. Those who are not related at all to the deceased should wear fine mats that are fakaʻahu, or smoked over a fire until they are a rich mahogany color.

Over the coarse mats, loose strips of pandanus may be worn, as a kiekie (ornamental girdle). This is the fakaaveave ("like an asparagus"), and wearing one is also a sign of respect. In the later days of the mourning period, the fakaaveave can be worn alone without the bulky taʻovala.

In the case of the death of a king, culturally everyone is considered inferior, and only the coarse mats are worn. The taʻovala worn by close relatives can be particularly large.

As soon as the death has occurred all family members will be notified, nowadays often by a radio message, and they are supposed to come to the putu (funeral rites). In Tongan culture no excuses are accepted for missing these rites. For friends or distantly related members it is enough that they come, pay their respect to the dead, bring a small gift for the widow (or close relatives), have their share of food and then leave until the actual burial. The household of the deceased is supposed to provide a meal, or meals if the putu are long, to all mourners. In case of a large family, this is a huge and expensive operation with a big ʻumu, and much food.

Closer family will bring huge ngatu and other traditional gifts, and are supposed to stay for the ʻapō (night vigil). Usually a big tent (some companies are specialised in hiring out such tents) is erected in the garden, and there the people sit the whole night singing religious songs. This is normally one night, but in case of a high chief the ʻapō can last a whole week.

The burial itself starts with a church service, the number of reverends/priests, the number of their sermons and therefore the duration of the service is proportional to the rank of the corpse. After that all parade to that cemetery where the family has a piece of ground. A brass-band may lead the procession. If the deceased is a high ranking civil servant, it will be the police brass-band.

Meanwhile, men and boys of the family have dug a grave, and the coffin is lowered in there. Nowadays the grave is usually sealed with concrete. After that, all leave, although the closest relatives may stay at the grave for the next 10 days.