User talk:Alexandra IDV

I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas, because that is what I celebrate. Feel free to take a "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings" if you prefer.  :) BOZ (talk) 18:06, 23 December 2024 (UTC)

@BOZ: Merry Christmas!-Alexandra^IDV 23:09, 24 December 2024 (UTC)

I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas, because that is what I celebrate. Feel free to take a "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings" if you prefer.  :) BOZ (talk) 23:34, 23 December 2025 (UTC)

@BOZ: Merry Christmas to you, too!--Alexandra^IDV 07:58, 25 December 2025 (UTC)

Thank you! BOZ (talk) 16:32, 25 December 2025 (UTC)

I've added a new reliable review; since this is a GA you may want to use it and convert my bullet point addition into content proper. The source is an OCR-able PDF that should be easy to machine copy and machine translate. If you need any help, let me know. _{Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here} 04:39, 27 December 2025 (UTC)

@Piotrus: Thanks for letting me know, I'll take a look when I get home later today.

My plasure. Note another one added to Hunter: The Vigil. --_{Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here} 12:05, 3 January 2026 (UTC)

Thanks for the cleanup you did on Feminization (activity), image usage reduction.

It would be nice if someone drafted a set of 'focus' guidelines for 'kink' articles, more generally. ShakespeareFan00 (talk) 16:42, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

Also, do you have any interest in writing a Travel Topic on Wikivoyage, entitled "Travel as a non binary indvidual"? ShakespeareFan00 (talk) 16:42, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

@ShakespeareFan00: I'm glad it's appreciated! As for your suggestion, I wouldn't be the right person to write that, as I'm not NB, don't travel much, and have no experience with Wikivoyage (and I rarely have the energy to write on Wikipedia and related projects in my free time these days, now that I write for a living).--Alexandra^IDV 18:46, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

@Alexandra IDV: The idea that these roles are patriarchal is not merely an interpretation: we have thousands of examples of non-patriarchal societies with non-prescriptive gender roles.

To present feminizing roles in BDSM as "universal" and non-patriarchal assumes universal hierarchies without historical or cultural basis.

The cited books document cultures with fluid and non-hierarchical gender roles; evidence is embedded throughout these texts, not limited to isolated pages.

Societies such as the Hopi, Haudenosaunee, Bugis, Minangkabau, Juchitecas, Q’ero, Mosuo, Akan, Khasi, Trobriand, Kihnu, Garo, and many others exhibit gender roles that do not fit into the simple male/female dichotomy presented in the article.

To suggest that feminizing roles in BDSM are patriarchal is to provide real context based on ethnographic and anthropological evidence, not speculation. Blanca Lap (talk) 21:28, 25 January 2026 (UTC)

@Blanca Lap: To be clear: I agree with this and there's no need to convince me. An ideal version of the article should include this. Me reverting your edit was solely about the need to cite a source supporting it before it can be included in the article. I'm not saying this to be dismissive, I really do think we should find better sources to cite so we can include this.--Alexandra^IDV 21:48, 25 January 2026 (UTC)

- Gender: An Ethnomethodological Approach by Suzanne Kessler and Wendy McKenna

This one should do. And if you need more, I have more than 200.

If not, I'll do it myself the moment I'm not running on 3 hours of sleep and not enough caffeine...

Edit: I tried copying some other books but it didn't let me... I think something is glitching in my phone. Hold on.

1.- Foundations of Mutuality, Commons, and Cooperation

- Cooperative Evolution: Reclaiming Darwin's Vision by Christopher Bryant and Valerie A. Brown

- Debt: The First 5,000 Years by David Graeber

- Governing the Commons: The Evolution of Institutions for Collective Action by Elinor Ostrom

- Nurturing Our Humanity: How Domination and Partnership Shape Our Brains, Lives, and Future by P. Fry and Riane Eisler

- The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity by David Graeber and David Wengrow

2.- Indigenous, Ecological, and Embodied Knowledge

- A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn

- An Indigenous Peoples' History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

- Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer

- Restoring the Kinship Worldview: Indigenous Voices Introduce 28 Precepts for Rebalancing Life on Planet Earth by Wahinkpe Topa (Four Arrows) and Darcia Narváez

- The Sacred Hoop: Recovering the Feminine in American Indian Traditions by Paula Gunn Allen

3.- Matriarchal Studies and Non-Kyriarchal Societies

- Afrikan Matriarchal Foundations: The Igbo Case by Ifi Amadiume

- Before War: On Marriage, Hierarchy and Our Matriarchal Origins by Elisha Daeva

- Female Power and Male Dominance: On the Origins of Sexual Inequality by Peggy Reeves Sanday

- Matriarchal Societies of the Past and the Rise of Patriarchy: West Asia and Europe by Heide Goettner-Abendroth

- Matriarchal Societies: Studies on Indigenous Cultures Across the Globe edited by Heide Goettner-Abendroth

- Re-Inventing Africa: Matriarchy, Religion and Culture by Ifi Amadiume

- Societies of Peace: Matriarchies of Past, Present and Future edited by Heide Goettner-Abendroth

- The Cultural Unity of Black Africa: The Domains of Patriarchy and of Matriarchy in Classical Antiquity by Cheikh Anta Diop

4.- Myth, Archaeology, and the Goddess Traditions

- Blood, Bread, and Roses: How Menstruation Created the World by Judy Grahn

- Language of the Goddess by Marija Gimbutas

- The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future by Riane Eisler

- The Civilization of the Goddess: The World of Old Europe by Marija Gimbutas

- The Goddesses and Gods of Old Europe: Myths and Cult Images by Marija Gimbutas

- The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth by Monica Sjöö

- When God Was a Woman: The Landmark Exploration of the Ancient Worship of the Great Goddess and the Eventual Supression of Women's Rites by Merlin Stone

5.- Origins and Mechanisms of Patriarchy

- Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender by Kit Heyam

- Caliban and the Witch: Women, the Body and Primitive Accumulation by Silvia Federici

- The Creation Of Patriarchy: The Origins of Women's Subordination by Gerda Lerner

- The Patriarchs: How Men Came to Rule by Angela Saini

- The Rule of Mars: Readings on the Origins, History and Impact of Patriarchy edited by Cristina Biaggi

6.- Gender, Sexuality, and Cultural Variance

- Beyond the Second Sex: New Directions in the Anthropology of Gender by Peggy Reeves Sanday and Ruth Gallagher Goodenough

- Boy-Wives and Female-Husbands: Studies in African Homosexualities

- Freewomen, Patriarchal Authority, and the Accusation of Prostitution by Stephanie Lynn Budin

- Gender in the Ancient Near East by Stephanie Budin

7.- Extra:    - Dancing in the Flames: The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Consciousness by Marion Woodman and Elinor Dickson

- Daughters of Mother Earth: The Wisdom of Native American Women by Barbara Alice Mann

- Different: Gender Through the Eyes of a Primatologist by Frans de Waal

- El Reino de las Mujeres: El Último Matriarcado by Ricardo Coler

- God is Red: A Native View of Religion by Vine Deloria Jr.

- Growing Up in New Guinea by Margaret Mead

- Hawaii's Story by Hawaii's Queen by Liliʻuokalani

- Hommes, Femmes: la Construction de la Différence by Françoise Héritier

- I Don't: The Case Against Marriage by Clementine Ford

- I Trusted You: Fully and Honestly Speaking of Gendered Assault and the Way to a Rape-Free Culture by Nadine Rosechild Sullivan

- Intimate Fathers: The Nature and context of Aka Pygmy Paternal Infant Care by Barry Hewlett

- Iroquoian Women: The Gantowisas by Barbara Alice Mann

- Juchitán, la ciudad de las mujeres by Veronika Bennholdt-Thomsen

- Kinship to Kingship: Gender Hierarchy and State Formation in the Tongan Islands by Christine Ward Gailey

- La Plus Belle Histoire des Femmes by Françoise Héritier

- Le Féminin et le Sacré by Catherine Clément and Julia Kristeva

- Lost Goddesses of Early Greece: A Collection of Pre-Hellenic Myths by Charlene Spretnak

- Lost Goddesses: The Denial of Female Power in Cambodian History by Trudy Jacobsen

- Making Space for Indigenous Feminism by Joyce Green

- Masculin Féminin II: Dissoudre la Hiérarchie by Françoise Héritier

- Masculin/Féminin: La Pensée de la Différence by Françoise Héritier

- Monocultures of the Mind by Vandana Shiva

- Mother Nature: A History of Mothers, Infants, and Natural Selection by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

- Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

- Native Men Remade: Gender and Nation in Contemporary Hawai'i by Ty P. Kāwika Tengan

- Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution by Adrienne Rich

- On becoming human by Tanner, Nancy Makepeace

- Oral Poetry: Its Nature, Significance and Social Context by Ruth Finnegan

- Re-enchanting the World: Feminism and the Politics of the Commons by Silvia Federici

- Sacred Instructions: Indigenous Wisdom for Living Spirit-Based Change by Sherri Mitchell

- Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body--New Paths to Power and Love by Riane Eisler

- Saharasia: The 4000 BCE Origins of Child Abuse, Sex-Repression, Warfare and Social VIolence, in the Deserts of the Old World by James DeMeo 

- Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies by Margaret Mead

- Sisters in Spirit: Haudenosaunee Influence on Early American Feminists bySally Roesch Wagner

- Taken from the Lips: Gender and Eros in Mesoamerican Religions by Sylvia Marcos

- The Alphabet Versus the Goddess: The Conflict Between Word and Image by Leonard Shlain

- The Falling Sky: Words of a Yanomami Shaman by Davi Kopenawa and Bruce Albert

- The Hero Cult: A Spectacle of World History That Changed Civilization by Harald Haarmann

- The Invention of Women: Making an African Sense of Western Gender Discourses by Oyeronke Oyewumi

- The Maternal Roots of the Gift Economy edited by Genevieve Vaughan

- The Myth of Sacred Prostitution in Antiquity by Stephanie Lynn Budin

- The Once and Future Goddess: A Symbol for Our Time by Elinor Gadon

- The Origins of Biblical Monotheism: Israel's Polytheistic Background and the Ugaritic Texts by Mark S. Smith

- The Prehistory of Sex: Four Million Years of Human Sexual Culture by Timothy Taylor

- The Politics of Women's Spirituality: Essays by Founding Mothers of the Movement by Charlene Spretnak

- The Science of the Sacred: Bridging Global Indigenous Medicine Systems and Modern Scientific Principles by Nicole Redvers

- The Strange Order of Things: Life, Feeling, and the Making of Cultures by António Damásio

- The Subsistence Perspective: Beyond the Globalised Economy by Maria Mies and Veronika Bennholdt-Thomsen

- The Sweetness of Life: A Biography of the Patriarchy by Françoise Héritier

- The Well of Remembrance: Rediscovering the Earth Wisdom Myths of Northern Europe by Ralph Metzner

- The Woman in the Shaman's Body: Reclaiming the Feminine in Religion and Medicine by Barbara Tedlock

- The Women Founders: Sociology and Social Theory 1830-1930 by Patricia Madoo Lengermann and Gillian Niebrugge

- The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets by Barbara G. Walker 

- The “Deviant” African Genders That Colonialism Condemned by Mohammed Elnaiem

- Weaving the Past: A History of Latin America's Indigenous Women from the Prehispanic Period to the Present by Susan Kellogg

- Where War Began: A Military History of the Middle East from the Birth of Civilization to Alexander the Great and the Romans by Arthur Cotterell

- Who Cooked the Last Supper: The Women's History of the World by Rosalind Miles

- Wisdom Sits in Places: Landscape and Language Among the Western Apache by Keith H. Basso

- Witches and Pagans: Women in European Folk Religion, 700-1100 by Max Dashu

- Woman Scorned: Acquaintance Rape on Trial by Peggy R. Sanday

- Women at the Center: Life in a Modern Matriarchy by Peggy Reeves Sanday

- Women in Ancient Egypt: Revisiting Power, Agency, and Autonomy by Mariam F. Ayad

- Women of the Place: Kastom, Colonialism and Gender in Vanuatu by Margaret Jolly

- Woman's Creation: Sexual Evolution and the Shaping of Society by Elizabeth Fisher

- Yatdjuligin: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Nursing and Midwifery Care by Odette Best

This is my introductory list to the topic. (I'm not sure what happened but I'm not complaining :'))

Edit 2: If sources are required to frame these roles as patriarchal, then sources should be required to frame them as universal too.Blanca Lap (talk) 09:33, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

(talk page watcher) Hello. I imagine Alexandra envisioned you adding a source to the article as an inline citation. WP:REFB gives guidance on how to do that, though when you're citing things like books or journals, they generally want you to be more specific and cite the specific page/statement that you're saying verifies the statement you're trying to source.

This is also generally more of thing that would be discussed on the article's talk page - I recommend copy/pasting the content there and seeing what feedback you get. (Like Alexandra above, it's not that I ideologically disagree with you, I'm just trying to guide you in the right direction.) Sergecross73 msg me 11:51, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

So just to clarify, you're suggesting I post this on the talk page with inline citations for each statement? I understand that for historical claims or detailed critiques, but I'm not sure why it applies to a small wording change that removes the "universal" frame from these gender roles, when the post doesn't require citations for the same claim framed as universal. Either the article's universal claim requires a citation, or the framing of roles as patriarchal should not require one.

Maybe you can help me by helping me understand that.

Also, I'm not sure about the "ideology" part you mentioned in your comment. Are you framing the books listed above as ideological? And if so, mind sharing your reasons for it? Blanca Lap (talk) 14:10, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

To add it to the article, you'd need inline citations. But discussing on the talk page may be the best path first first, to make sure you're on the right track. Like I was saying, if you added a reference that just said "<ref>The Women Founders: Sociology and Social Theory 1830-1930 by Patricia Madoo Lengermann and Gillian Niebrugge</ref> your edit would probably be rejected again, as that's too vague to simply allude to an entire book/journal like that.

As far as needing sources for it being framed as universal..there are sources in the article. Do they not verify the claim? Have you checked? These are honest questions, I do not know. Just some things to think about as you try to work through it on the article talk page. Sergecross73 msg me 14:38, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

Please, correct me if I'm wrong, as I haven't slept too much and I might have missed or mixed some stuff, but I did a somewhat quick research on the sources added to the article and I couldn't find a single one who proved those genders to be universal.

1. Parks-Ramage, Jonathan (2016-08-08). "Das geheime Leben von Crossdressern". Vice (in German). Vice Media. Archived from the original on 2020-09-16. Retrieved 2020-06-28.

It's a journalistic report on the experiences of crossdressers. It only documents individual experiences; it does not generalize to all men or societies. It does not demonstrate universality.

2.  Fischer, Nancy L.; Seidman, Steven (2016). Introducing the New Sexuality Studies (3rd ed.). Routledge. p. 351. ISBN 9781317449188.

It's an academic book on sexuality studies. Specific pages deal with kink practices and feminization. It contextualizes practices within certain groups; it does not claim that they are universal.

3. Parks-Ramage, Jonathan (2016-07-28). "'I Cross-Dress. Do You Still Love Me?': The Secret Lives of Sissies". Vice. Vice Media. Archived from the original on 2020-09-16. Retrieved 2020-06-28.

Similar to the first one, it's an interview/report on specific people. It's about individual experiences, not universal.

4. "Forced Feminization". Kinkly. 2019-10-28. Archived from the original on 2019-11-07. Retrieved 2020-06-28.

It's a guide/fact sheet on BDSM fantasies. It describes consensual role-play scenarios. It only describes the practice within the kink, not universal historical or cultural evidence.

5. Borresen, Kelsey (2018-10-24). "6 Of The Most Common Sexual Fantasies, According To Sex Workers". Huffington Post. Archived from the original on 2020-04-24. Retrieved 2020-07-01.

It's a newspaper article based on sex worker clients. It documents trends in a limited group; not universal.

6. Blue, Violet (2006). "7: Cross-Dressing and Sissies". Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide For Couples. Daedalus Publishing. pp. 119–140. ISBN 1-881943-23-2.

It's a sexual guide for couples; describes BDSM and feminization. It applies to couple context, kink; does not generalize to all of humanity.

7. Lindemann, Danielle J. (2012). Dominatrix: Gender, Eroticism, and Control in the Dungeon. University of Chicago Press. pp. 167–169. ISBN 9780226482569.

It's a study of dominatrices and their clients. It's an observation of a specific subculture; no evidence of universality.

8. "Maid Training". Kinkly. 2017-05-09. Archived from the original on 2020-06-28. Retrieved 2020-06-28.

Feminization subscenario within kink. Specific practice, not universal.

9. "Sissy Training". Kinkly. 2017-10-02. Archived from the original on 2019-11-07. Retrieved 2020-06-28.

Subscenario within BDSM. Specific to fetishistic practice; not universal.

10. Varrin, Claudia (1998). The Art of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women. Carol Publishing Group. pp. 53–61. ISBN 1-55972-447-1.

Guide for female dominants; techniques and practices. Only about couples or subcultures; not universal.

11. Boyd, Helen (2003). My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser. Seal Press. pp. 176–179. ISBN 978-1-56025-515-4.

Testimony/biography about a crossdresser. Individual experience; not generalizable evidence.

12. "Slut Training". Kinkly. 2017-09-04. Archived from the original on 2020-07-07. Retrieved 2020-07-07.

Feminization scenario within BDSM. Only a specific role, not universal.

13. Ramet, Sabrina P. (1996). Gender reversals and gender cultures: anthropological and historical perspectives. Routledge. pp. 12–14. ISBN 978-0-415-11482-0. Archived from the original on 2014-06-17. Retrieved 2016-10-28.

Anthropological book; probably documents cases of gender role reversal in certain cultures. Could offer evidence of cultural variation, but does not claim that all men or societies do this.

14. Valens, Ana (2020-02-28). "Trans/Sex: Kink is affirming—and complicated—for trans women". The Daily Dot. Archived from the original on 2020-05-24. Retrieved 2020-07-02.

Article about the kink experiences of trans people. Individual experiences and a specific subculture; not universal.

15. Walker, Harron (2019-04-25). "Making Work in Her Own Image". Out. Pride Media. Archived from the original on 2020-05-28. Retrieved 2020-07-02.

Journalistic report/essay; describes artistic or creative feminization. Specific to certain groups; does not demonstrate universality.

Further reading: Gloria G. Brame (2000). Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex. Simon and Schuster. ISBN 978-0-684-85462-5.

General guide on sex and BDSM; includes feminization. Does not establish universality.

I have also checked the "femininity" page linked in the article, and it does state that what's considered a "feminine role" is a social construct, cultural, and varies across the globe. So, not universal.Blanca Lap (talk) 15:21, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

I'll move this conversation to the article's talk page now. Blanca Lap (talk) 15:24, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

Okay, well, perhaps you've found further things than need fixing if the current sourcing is insufficient, but either way, it'll take proper sourcing to implement your changes all the same. Best of luck working through it on the article talk page. Sergecross73 msg me 15:29, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

I'm still not clear on why framing these roles as universal does not require explicit sourcing, while questioning that universality does.

Given the extensive anthropological record documenting non-prescriptive and non-hierarchical gender systems (the Hopi four-gender system being just one well-documented example), it seems that the burden of proof should apply equally to claims of universality. If there is a policy-based or methodological reason for this asymmetry, I'd appreciate understanding it. Otherwise, it's unclear how the current framing is being held to the same evidentiary standard being requested of proposed changes.

Absent a specific policy-based justification for applying different standards of evidence, this appears to raise concerns under Wikipedia's Neutral Point of View (WP:NPOV) policy, as well as WP:UNDUE, which cautions against presenting contested or culturally specific framings as universal without proportional sourcing. It may also implicate WP:CONSISTENCY (consistent application of rules), given the lack of specific citations, the reliance on non-analytical sources, and the asymmetric enforcement of sourcing standards.

In any case, thank you for the clarification on process. Blanca Lap (talk) 11:54, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

My last response was indicating, hypothetically speaking, that the burden of proof should be required for both, and that there should not be asymmetry. Sergecross73 msg me 12:07, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

Alright. Blanca Lap (talk) 12:16, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

--Gerda Arendt (talk) 08:24, 18 February 2026 (UTC)

Hi, Alexandra IDV. I'm just posting to let you know that List of Changeling: The Dreaming books – a list that you have been heavily involved with – has been chosen to appear on the Main Page as Today's featured list for April 10, 2026. The TFL blurb can be seen here. If you have any thoughts on the selection, please post them on my talk page or at TFL talk. --PresN 12:38, 18 March 2026 (UTC)